Category: Writing about writing

Story Within A Story Time

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One of the things I enjoy about this whole writing deal is coming up with all of the backstory that goes into a book. I know so much about every single named character I write: their histories, their personalities, their likes, dislikes, and goals, where they will end up in the future. Figuring this stuff out is fun and results is so many little side stories and vignettes that never, ever make it into the book but strongly inform the characters as I’m writing. (As fun as this part of my process is, it is also occasionally frustrating like when you realize that the main character from Book 1 will pull out his grandest romantic gesture 3 years after the epilogue, but I digress.)

Since this is my blog and no one can stop me, Imma tell you some backstory from Book 2 that makes me all warm and fuzzy and will definitely not make it into this book:

Book 2’s FMC, Nat, was born around 1990. She would have been 8-9 years old when the Backstreet Boys Millennium album came out, a little too young for it to have been a real cultural touchstone. Nat was often left in the care of her older sister, Rachael. Rachael was born in 1982 and was 17 and a junior in high school in 1999. Millennium was absolutely part of her zeitgeist. Now Rachael was far too cool for boy bands at 17, at least in front of her peers. But she fucking loved that album and she and Nat spent many a night blasting I Want It That Way and yell-singing along when they were home alone together while their mom was working or out. It is the soundtrack to some of Nat’s fondest memories of Rachael’s last year living at home.

Twenty plus years later, Nat will be out somewhere, probably a grocery or drug store, with the MMC and I Want It That Way will come on. She’ll smile and bob her head along. When he notices, she’ll tell him she loves this song because it reminds her of her sister and dancing around the living room screaming into a remote control to an album Rachael would never admit to even liking to anyone else. Rachael died when Nat was 17 and this song bring her back to the absolute best, happiest memories of her sister.

I am now going to spoil a shocking twist of my romance novel: Nat and the MMC end up together and eventually marry. (Didn’t see that one coming, did you?) He is a very cool guy and Nat’s musical tastes in her 30s don’t generally run to pop love ballads so the music at the reception is danceable and accessible but does not include a 90s and early aughts pop music. But midway through the night, he’ll have the DJ play I Want It That Way. It’s his way of including her sister in their wedding and their lives. Nat recognizes it for what it is and it absolutely delights her. They’ll dance to it a little off to the side of the dance floor so they can have a some more space and it’s just this little moment of private joy. He’s the only one there who truly understands what this song means to her, just as she had been the only person to understand what it meant to Rachael. And now the song she associates with some of the best memories of Rachael is also associated with the new memory of celebrating the start of her marriage to a man who really, truly knows and loves her.

And this is why I will never, ever give up writing or romance. Because I love this stuff.

Why Gotye’s Somebody That I Used to Know should be on writing syllabi

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Let’s talk about unreliable narrators.  I love unreliable narrators.  Vladimir Nabokov is a master of the unreliable narrator, a POV character who lulls you into his version of events until you have a moment of, “Wait. Hold on a minute. Say what now?” And suddenly the entire book is cast a whole new light.  Lolita is the most famous example, but Pale Fire is the funniest.  It is masterful stuff and you should read Pale Fire at the very least.  (No judgment if you want to give Lolita a pass).

However, when I see novice writers ask about unreliable narrators in the wild or when I need to try and introduce my own elementary schooler to the concept, my favorite example is the unnamed narrator of Gotye’s 2011 duet with Kimbra, Somebody That I Used to Know. In less than 4:30, you get a fantastic example of an unreliable narrator (and toxic male entitlement) packaged in a banger.  And since this is my blog an no one can stop me, we’re going to break it down and discuss why it is so great.  So

The song begins with our male narrator signing about the end of a relationship.

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love, and it’s an ache I still remember

He starts out telling us about a relationship that, honestly, doesn’t sound like a grand love affair.  He had to convince himself it was a good fit but admits he often felt lonely with her.  Though it is always sad when a relationship ends, he seems to recognize this was for the best.  How wise!  How mature! 

He continues:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well, you said that we would still be friends
But I’ll admit that I was glad it was over

He paints picture of the relationship in the second verse that is even more bleak, of addiction to sadness and resignation.  It no longer sounds like just a bad fit, it begins to sound unhealthy. It’s good they broke up.  But even in the midst of that, the split was amicable.  They are able to “still be friends.” This relationship ending is for the best.  He’s even glad it’s over.

Ah, but then we hit the chorus.  And things begin to shift.

But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing

Wait.  Didn’t he just tell us they said they would still be friends?  But she cut him off and is now acting like they never went out?  That’s not friendly. 

And I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger, and that feels so rough

Okay. Now he’s beginning to sound almost petulant.  If he doesn’t need her love, why does her treating him like a stranger feel so rough?  He’s glad it’s over.  He was lonely in her company.  He spent the first two verses downplaying the significance of this love affair.  This seems like a disproportionate amount of angst over someone he didn’t really seem to…enjoy his time with all that much?

No, you didn’t have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number

Say what now?  She had her friends collect her stuff and changed her phone number?  Changing your number is a pain in the ass. It’s not something people generally do on a whim.  If you say that you will still be friends, you don’t send your friends to get your stuff.  Sending your friends to get your stuff is something you do when a relationship ends badly…or if you don’t feel safe.

I guess that I don’t need that, though
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know

More petulance and soupcon of “the lady doth protest too much.” The tone has shifted.  It’s indignant and not nearly as philosophical as the first two verses.  His version of events is still plausible but there are now some questions, some loose threads we see upon further inspection.

And then Kimbra comes in:

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over

Oh.  This is far more direct and a far less flattering portrait of the relationship

But had me believing it was always something that I’d done

Now this.  This could be a chapter heading in Lundy Bancrofts seminal work on intimate partner violence, Why Does He Do That.  One of the most common themes in stories of IPV is how the victim ends up feeling responsible for their abuser’s bad actions. It is their fault that he did whatever he did.  If they had just acted correctly, he wouldn’t have had to. 

It didn’t make sense, in his account, why she would have her friends collect her records and change her number, even if she was just being vindictive.  But once we have this line, it makes a lot more sense.

And I don’t wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say

Her account becomes more unsettling.  She felt like she had to try and interpret every word he said, to the point that it made her life untenable.  She’s talking about being in a relationship with someone manipulative, who leaves her on edge, who she feels like she can’t take at face value. Her account also stays consistent, unlike his. 

And then, we got the line where his credibility crumbles.  Where I feel like the audience should be saying, “Oh Shit! Maybe we can’t trust this guy.”

You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn’t catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

He has, in fact, spent two verses and a chorus being hung up on someone he used to know.  He, himself, has told us how much he didn’t care, how relatively insignificant she and this this relationship was to him and then:

But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger, and that feels so rough

No, you didn’t have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number (aah)
I guess that I don’t need that, though
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know

Somebody (I used to know)
Somebody (now you’re just somebody that I used to know)
Somebody (I used to know)
Somebody (now you’re just somebody that I used to know)
I used to know
That I used to know
I used to know
Somebody

He doesn’t care about her, she’s just “somebody that he used to know.”  But if she treats him like a stranger, it “feels so rough.”  If she sends collect her records, she is “stooping so low.”  It’s not about her wanting to feel safe or comfortable, it about what she is doing to him.  She isn’t allowed to cut him off.  She isn’t allowed to block his calls or avoid him.  He wants to be the sole arbitrator of the status of their relationship.  It’s over and he still feels entitled to her performing what he feels he’s owed.

Go back and listen to the song again and his account starts to feel even more hollow.  More inconsistencies start to appear.  Of course, we never know the truth of the song (though I think her side stays pretty solid no matter how many time you listen to it) but by the end of 4:04, I know we can’t trust his.

How Do You Keep a Story Interesting When Everyone is Happy?

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I finally have a functioning computer again, which is extremely exciting. There is much rejoicing that I can writer again over here. If you are a writer and are reading this GO BACK UP YOUR WORK NOW! DO IT NOW! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!

While I was sans computer, someone posted a question on Twitter that essentially asked: How do you keep the happy, fluffy parts of relationship in a romance novel interesting since conflict drives a novel but there isn’t much conflict when the main characters are just kind of hanging out, content and in love? I’ve been thinking a lot about that question.

First let me stipulate that I find the happy, fluffy parts of a romance novel inherently interesting. You know people who love an angsty book, who want a story to emotionally destroy them and the characters? Whatever the opposite of that is, that is the kind of reader I am. I will happily read page after page of nice people being sweet to each other so it is possible that my perspective is not a conventional one for the romance market or for literature.

When I’m writing the good times in a romance, in addition to feeding my own personal yen for sweetness, I try to use those softer, quieter moments to accomplish two things:

1) Demonstrate how the main characters complement each other.

2) Highlight and contrast the cracks in the relationship, the doubts or issues that are obstacles to the HEA. (I tend to write internal rather than external conflict).

There was a particular scene in Book 1 that I immediately thought of when I read that tweet and since I have a whole blog, let’s break it down, shall we?

The scene takes place during a 3-month period in the story between when they decide to start seeing each other and the next big emotional set-piece. Over the course of that 3 months, they get to know each other, gradually start spending more time together, and are generally pretty happy. It’s very much a honeymoon period.

This scene begins in the MMC’s POV. Both the leads come home late from their respective jobs. This is another in a long string of late nights at work and they are both exhausted. Miranda (our FMC) hands Vincent (our MMC) a glass of water when he walks in the door. He takes a shower, and they collapse into bed together. Vincent is a pretty tactile dude. He pulls Miranda into his arms and as they are drifting off to sleep, he thinks about how soothing it is to hold her; how the feel of her against him and her scent are significant consolation after a hard day. He deeply appreciates how peaceful she makes this moment in the middle of a busy and stressful period. Fluff! It also demonstrates how they complement each other. Vincent needs touch and respite and Miranda meets those needs with water and rest and snuggling. It also highlights some of things about her, specifically, that he’s attracted to.

But. Even though the moment is warm and soft and peaceful, Vincent worries about the future of the relationship. The reason he’s so exhausted, and the reason that he needs the respite she provides so badly is that Vincent is a professional chef working at the highest level; Miranda has never worked in food service and has a demanding job of her own. His schedule is brutal and uncompromising. He has lost relationships because of it before. He and Miranda have specifically discussed this and he’s been very up front with her about how little time he has to give her. Because of this, they have agreed to see each other when they have time for as long as they enjoy it and leave it there. Essentially, they are friends with benefits.

Vincent really likes her and the moments like this one they have been sharing. Though no one is talking about the long term, the past 3 months have been great and he is keen to keep going. However, this is her first real taste of just how bad his schedule can be. He has worked the past 17 days straight. They haven’t had sex in over a week. He feels like he’s barely been a decent friend and now there are no benefits. He fears it’s only a matter of time before she gets sick of his shit and kicks him to the curb. Vincent’s core belief that his professional life is fundamentally incompatible with a long-term romantic relationship; that Miranda cannot possibly love him in just a few hours a week, is a major fault line in their relationship. Having him reflect on it in a quiet moment lays the groundwork for obstacle they will have to overcome in the future and gives the story some precarity.

Side Note, I do not consider this a romance “misunderstanding.” Vincent’s beliefs aren’t unreasonable. His schedule is a shit show. There legitimately aren’t a lot of people who would be willing or able to put up with it. And he isn’t discounting Miranda’s opinion. They have talked about it, but Vincent knows that you can’t really understand how difficult it is until you experience it.

The next morning, we switch to Miranda’s POV. She wakes up in an empty bed thinking Vincent has already left for work. Now, inside her head, I can show the reader that all of the things Vincent fears are conspicuously absent. She’s not remotely close to running out of patience with him. She’s disappointed that she won’t be able to kiss him goodbye this morning but mostly she sympathizes with how tired he must be. Miranda admires his dedication and his hard work. She also views their lack of time as temporary. Their schedules will settle down soon and though she didn’t see him this morning, they have a standing date in two days, and she’ll get some time then. Her POV further contrasts his POV demonstrates how, even though they’ve talked about it and generally communicate well, their is a disconnect between how they perceive the relationship. That disconnect is only going to grow too. Additionally, the way she conceptualizes the challenges they are facing right now illustrates how well suited they are. Most people wouldn’t be able to handle his schedule; Miranda however, can.

She hears him moving around and realizes she hasn’t missed him. Miranda goes and gets her good morning kiss. Things start to heat up and she asks when he needs to leave, because she knows how tight his schedule is and is conscious and careful with his time. (Complement) Vincent only has 27 minutes before he has to go. He pulls back when he tells her this, we already know he feels like he is disappointing her, and he behaves as though he expects her to take this news negatively. Miranda, however, hears 27 minutes and thinks, “I like a challenge.” (Fault line) When the scene ends, Miranda is quite satisfied with how the morning has gone and Vincent still makes it to work 5 minutes early. (Complement)

So, there you have it, a peak into what I’m trying to do, besides just indulge in all of softest, fluffiest fluff, when I’m writing those sweet scenes. I promise, they are just as much a part of moving the story along for me as the big, emotional scenes.

Inspiration Fresh Out of the Dryer

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There is nothing quite like manual labor to spur a writing epiphany.

Usually hand-washing dishes is my go-to method for getting through any sort of creative block.  Over the years I’ve solved plot holes, genetics experiment design flaws, and complex data review workflows while scrubbing glassware and pots, my hands emersed in hot, soapy water.  Tonight’s, came via laundry, though, and took me completely by surprise.

I was listening to the playlist for my WIP, the second book in my contemporary romance series (which shall heretofore be Book 2) and folding one of the many, many post-holiday travel loads.  I thought I’d take advantage of a quiet moment to try and get ye olde creative subconscious percolating in anticipation of doing some post-bedtime writing. (As you can see from this blog, I am not a visual person. But playlists are a big part of my process.)  Book 2 has been slow going for a variety of reasons, but it has picked up in the last few weeks as I’ve both quit querying Book 1 and slowly made my peace with  not querying  Book 1 anymore.  (If I stick with this blog thing, no guarantee there, there will definitely be an eleventy-million word post on all of that at some point down the line.)

Since I do like a consistent theme, Book 2’s playlist has also been slow-going.  I’ve been struggling to find songs that capture the characters or the vibe and, at the moment, it’s quite short.  Spotify likes to antagonize me by adding songs to playlists on the mobile app if it deems the list “too short.” After flying into a rage one too many times on my walk to get the kid from school because I was suddenly assaulted by a song or a band I loathed, I threw a handful of songs from Book 1’s playlist on to meet the minimum so that I might know peace. (Side Bar: Spotify. Babe.  If I have specifically curated a list of songs, why in God’s name would I want your suggestions?  In what universe does that make sense? Also, your suggestions are so bad as to be insulting.)

The track that has become Book 2’s theme song had just finished when Cyril Hahn’s Open started up.  Open is one of the Book 1 placeholder songs. It’s lovely, down-tempo, almost ethereal electronic track with essentially only 7 lyrics: “Should I leave my heart wide open?” Open was a major track for Book 1.  I listened to it a LOT to get in the right headspace for that story.  Since there’s so little to it, I thought it would be an innocuous addition to the Book 2 playlist, but it has always felt jarringly discordant in the context of Book 2.  Tonight, it felt desperately out of place. And suddenly, while folding t-shirts and hanging school uniforms, I knew exactly why. 

One of the issues that tied the main characters in Book 1 was that they both fundamentally feared being vulnerable; showing their whole selves to other people.  Each of them had to work through some variant of that fear to get to their HEA.  “Should I leave my heart wide open?” was a weighty and frightening question for both of them, especially the FMC. 

Vulnerability is not a problem for the idiots in Book 2.  Their first real conversation involves them sharing their worst secrets.  I think they learn the thing the other is agonizing over but has never shared with another soul before they learn each other’s names.  “Tell me another dark secret,” is a reoccurring theme and a game they play throughout the story.  “Should I leave my heart wide open?” is not a difficult question for them.  They’d both pretty much be like, “Sure, why not? The other MC already knows the worst of it.”  The fundamental issue that unites these two isn’t that they are afraid to trust other people; it’s that they are afraid to trust themselves.  The FMC has had her confidence in her own judgement and perceptions shaken by a bad relationship.  The MMC is afraid to examine how dissatisfied he is with the path he’s been on his entire life because he doesn’t think he has it in him to forge a new one.  That’s why this song fails so badly for the new Book.

And just like that, half-way through the basket of warm laundry, a major theme and driver of both character’s actions for Book 2, and a major theme from completed Book 1 suddenly crystalized like purified water flash-frozen in a polar vortex.  When I wasn’t even thinking about it. Creativity so weird.  Also, do your laundry I guess?